An old hobo saying was, “It was a three dog night”. They didn’t have any blankets so they slept with a dog or dogs to keep warm. The number of dogs explained how cold it was that night.

In Washington, D.C. the politicians had an eight dog night.

Snowmageddon. That's what many in the Washington, D.C. Metro area have called the recent onslaught of wintery weather that descended on the city.

Pat Robertson said that the cause was that the city has been "cursed by one thing after another" since they "swore a pact to the devil."

Sarah Palin after telling the National Tea Party convention that it doesn't really need a "charismatic" leader who leads from a Tele-Prompter, promptly took her lead from her Tele-Prompter Palm Pilot (pen-written notes on the inside of her hand).

The note said, My name is Shara Sarah Pay-lin.

Care-is-mat-tic. En-a-gee. Tack kut cut.

Yep,I live right up the street from Oscar the death detecting cat.

Oscar's the cat that can detect when nursing home patients have just hours to live. He has accurately predicted over 50 deaths. Oscar spends his days roaming the nursing home and refuses to spend any time with the elderly residents unless they are close to death.

The unsociable cat, now five, was adopted as a kitten at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Centre in Rhode Island.

I know what you’re saying and it’s not, “Boy, he lives right up the street from a death detecting cat. How creepy is that?”

Nope, that’s not what you’re saying. What you’re saying is, “Boy, he lives in Rhode Island. How creepy is that?”

Never mind all that, I’ve got a great idea. I brought all my comedy stuff up to the nursing home and laid it on the floor. Oscar walked all around my papers, not even looking at them or smelling them. Then he suddenly peed on a couple and a few minutes later he took a dump on another one.

This could be a professional breakthrough. I’ll let you know if he was right on those three jokes.