The Milwaukee Bucks will face the Golden State Warriors this fall in an exhibition game in China. Both teams are suspicious of the NBA's intentions, since there are no return flights booked.

Michael Jackson celebrated his 50th birthday Friday.

In related news, his nose turns 25.

...i tried enzyte for natural male enhancement...it didnt work...so im moving to canada where they use the metric system...in an instant, i will go from 7" to 17.75 cm... 

ALASKA GOV. SARAH PALIN 

AFTER BEING ASKED WHY GOV. PALIN WAS HIS PICK

HE WAS QUOTED AS SAYING

"BECAUSE OIL ISN'T THE ONLY THING WORTH DRILLING IN ALASKA"

AND GAVE 2 THUMBS UP!!!!

Hasbro has announced the updated version of the popular board game Clue, featuring new rooms and new weapons.  The new rooms include the home theatre and spa.  The new weapons include a baseball bat, to bludgeon to death, an axe, to hack to death, and Paris Hilton, to bore you to death. 

Organizers of the London 2012 Olympic Games gave into a request that some of the lyrics to Led Zeppelin's rock classic "Whole Lotta Love" be re-written before Sunday's closing ceremonies. Chinese officials felt that some of the words were too racy for young children. So much so, that Beijing officials threatened to remove the Chinese women's gymnastic team during it's playing. 

www.jerrywolski.com

Mexico, with a population of over 110 million people, finished with just one bronze and two gold medals in the Summer Olympics. Mexican officials blame the poor showing on the fact that all of their best swimmers and runners are now living illegally in the United States. Said one track and field coach, "Last month our best pole vaulter borrowed a pole and never returned." 

www.jerrywolski.com

Dave Freeman, co-author of "100 Things to Do Before You Die," has died. He was just 47.

Apparently, not included in the book was to celebrate his 48th birthday.

Kansas City Royals outfielder Jose Guillen had to be restrained after a fan heckled him.  Guillen said the man called him something awful, like a "Kansas City Royal."

Dell introduced new computers specifically marketed to Chinese consumers.  Basically it's a normal computer, but it comes with a man who arrests anyone trying to access the internet.

...mackenzie phillips was arrested at LAX airport for possession of cocaine and heroin...when asked for comment, phillips stated that she doesnt use cocaine or heroin...she just likes the way they smell.