Yeah as y'all know, the World Series gets underway tomorrow night.  And the New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies are two teams that are similar in a lot of ways, really they are.  They do have one HUGE, CONTROVERSIAL, AND DISGUSTING thing separating them, though.  It's called NEW JERSEY.

   Modern liberal philosophy consists of the following precepts:  George W. Bush, stupid.  Dick Cheney, evil.   Sarah Palin, clueless.

   Admittedly, resentment of a  few  individuals hardly represents the breadth of  leftist thinking.  Therefore, to be comprehensive, I should include:  Barack Obama, good.

   (Joe Biden, asshole, is a bipartisan notion.)

A new national poll conducted by CNN shows that 7 out of 10 Americans think Sarah Palin is not qualified to be president.

A similar poll conducted by CNN shows that 3 out of 10 Americans are retarded. 

The pilots of that wayward Airbus A-320 now admit they were using their laptops while overshooting the airport by 150 miles . The laptop's names were : Flight Attendant Bette "Busty" Bennington and Flight Attendant "Fiery" Fiona Fiorentino .  Pilots Richard Cole and Timothy Cheney admitted to FBI agents and NTSB investigators, " That was one hell of a career ending Lap-Dance we got at 37,000 feet ! "

When it comes to treating sex addiction, most prefer to be slowly weaned off. 

 A Philadelphia woman has been arrested for offering sex in exchange for World Series tickets.  She gives new meaning to the term "box seats".

According to White House numbers, the Stimulus package has created about 650,000 new jobs. In a related story, the Department of Labor announced 650,000 new hires in unemployment offices nationwide.  

The jump-off point for the fifth annual Zombie Walk in Richmond, Virginia was across the street from the Church of Scientology.

Federal Transportation officials announced plans for a toll-free number for passengers on planes to call if they're being hijacked. ***MARLAR: Good thing it's a toll free number. You wouldn’t want to waste your cell minutes on something as trivial as a hijacking. 

...it used to bother me every time i had to take my shoes off at airports, but now i'm used to it.  At the same time i'm really grateful that Richard Reid wasn't the underwear bomber.  

   An injured optimist is  thoroughly relieved when his bleeding finally stops.

   The pessimist begins to fear he's run out of blood.