BEIJING (Reuters) - Humans are stripping nature at an unprecedented rate and will need two planets' worth of natural resources every year by 2050 on current trends, the WWF conservation group said on Tuesday.

Looks like we'll be needing Pluto after all.

Harry Potter standout Daniel Radcliffe told the Enquirer that he wishes a wand could help him find the right girl who wants him not just for his celebrity status.

He was put at ease today by phone calls from Gary Coleman and Dustin Diamond, who let him know that in a year or two his celebrity status will absolutely not be a problem.

Explains: "It's just some hair gel from the cameraman I beat up before the game."

A simple acronym entered into people’s cellphone listings, ICE, (in case of emergency) can help emergency room doctors who are trying to track down a patient’s family. Unanticipated side effect:

"Thanks to all my fans who are reaching out to me. My phone is finally ringing again. Word to your mother."

LONG BEACH, N.Y. - A high school principal has decreed that Captain Underpants has no place in an institution of learning. Three 17-year-old girls were told to leave Long Beach High School on Wednesday after they showed up on Superhero Day costumed as the subject of the best-selling children's books.

To avoid expulsion, the girls insisted they were dressed as Mahatma Gandhi, only fatter and with a red cape.

It will be "Broadway, She Wrote" for "Murder, She Wrote" star Angela Lansbury when the actress makes her return to the Broadway stage in May.

The cast has mixed feelings, knowing she will attract audiences is a great positive. However, a big negative, wondering which one of them will mysteriously turn up dead every week.

Recently, an 81-year-old Florida man was stung in the heart by a stingray that leapt onto his boat. The attack was eerily reminiscent of the death of the Crocodile Hunter.

"The whole Steve Irwin thing was a public relations coup for our species," said a spokes-ray. "We're just taking advantage of the sudden buzz."

...So where are the wristbands for people who support oral sex?

More illegals to now hit U.S. soil slightly winded.

...the same way I look at "Sex & the City" on TBS. What's this still doing on my TV?

The NJ Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples have the same rights as heterosexuals in a 4-3 ruling yesterday.

The court ruled as follows: "The issue is not about the transformation of the the traditional definition of marriage, but about the unequal dispensation of benefits and privileges to one of two similarly situated classes of people."

Translated: "Think of it as our way of saying to the gay community, 'sorry the governor was such a skank.'''