In Mexico, gunmen open fired at a popular taco stand, killing two people. An eye witness commented, “That's the first time I shit myself before I ate.”

No wonder I had such a hard time getting tech support.

Maine- At Acadia National Park, officials are concerned about the amount of rocks that people are taking from the park and will be fining thieves between $50-$150 apiece for stolen rocks. “It really screws up the count for our annual “Guess How Many Rocks Are in our Park Contest.” Said the head park ranger.

Browne sued  McCain for using his song "Running on Empty" in a campaign video without his permission.  This isn't the first time McCain used music without permission  in a political campaign.   In 1780, he was sued by Mozart.

Major League Baseball nixed a New York Yankees signing after the player turned out to be under 16-years-old. They became suspicious when the player was asked his age, and responded by saying, "this many."

California is officially apologizing to Chinese Americans for past racist laws.  In turn, the Chinese must apologize for their driving.

The police were responding to a break-in in progress, and when they ask this so called racism expert for ID, he gives them a hard time and calls it racism.   So let me get this straight.  You want the police to treat an unidentified break-in suspect with respect and courtesy... Yeah.. that’s gonna work real well.

“Excuse me, we don’t mean to intrude, but we see the door is broken in… do you live here? Oh you do… ok… have good night”

First of all, let’s consider that most break-ins reported are real and dangerous.  I’m gonna estimate that at least 9 out of 10 times, the guy breaking into your place isn’t you.

On top of that, this isn’t the first break-in at the Professor’s home.  I think it’s hysterical when people say, “If he was white, this wouldn’t have happened that way”

Well, I’m white (sort of) and if the police thought my apartment was being broken into, I would obey all their commands, gladly show them my ID, and thank them for coming.  So it would have gone differently for me… not because of my color… but because I’m not an idiot.  If police ask you for your ID and you put up a fight and call them names, don’t expect to be treated with honor.

One last thing, Don’t apply to Harvard.  They let anybody teach there.

Oh and PS: Me calling him an idiot isn’t racism. Idiots come in all colors.  I have a white one that lives in my building.

Read the Police Report 

I was thinking about going to Comic Con this year,but my Spiderman suit is still sticky from Web activities. 

I didn't realize that porn star Jenna Jameson had given birth to twins.

When it comes to multiples,I would have figured her for sextuplets. 

Congress says Obama can have health care reform.  But there will be a $1 trillion co-pay.

So the taco bell chihauhua died. I would imagine it was from eating Taco Bell.