The Bush twins were in an Argentina restaurant when Barbara's purse and cell phone were stolen.  The Secret Service is taking a lot of heat for allowing this to happen, but according to one unnamed agent, "Everywhere those girls go, there's trouble."  Like father like daughters.

According to a USA Today poll, nearly every civilized nation with sensible gun restriction laws has an annual murder rate with guns lower than the USA. America has 15 thousand murders, yet we’re still glad we’re not France.

China’s communist party leaders promised to do more to close the country’s growing gap between their rich and poor....right after they finish construction on their golden jeweled palaces.

"I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project. We are sorry for any pain that this has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson." - Rupert Murdoch

Translated: "That's the last time I let Judith Regan's face anywhere near my lap."

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny debuts today. 

What's interesting to note here is a rare reversal of the usual Hollywood modus operandi; Jack Black has made a feature film out of the TV project that made him famous, but only after appearing in movie after movie to the point where I wish the pudgy little goblin would just go away.

The finger pointing continues in Washington when reporters asked who let Kim Jong Il get the bomb? Now, were they talking Nukes or did someone send North Korea a copy of Gigli?

Bank of America stunned online Brokerage firms last week by offering free trades to anyone who has $25,000 or more in an account at their bank.  Then Zeco.com topped that by offering free trades to anyone with $2,500 in an account.  The best offer was from Mark Foley, offering free trades to anyone with 25cents in their piggy bank account

A new toothbrush is available that plays pop music like; Rocky’s theme song, We will rock you, by Queen, & Let’s get it started by Black Eyed Peas.  No comment from Niggaz with Attitude for their rejected song, She Swallowed It

Thought I'd try my luck
Leaping from couch to dresser.
You did not see that.

Or,

Thought I'd try my luck
Leaping from couch to dresser.
God, that fucking hurt.

All I have to do,
Is lay and show my tummy.
Putty in my paws.

Sorry, don't know why;
Must run at mach three til morn.
Run run run run run.

Catnip, finest bud -
Makes me swing at my sister.
Can't handle my high.

Snarling, giant beast
Cowers at my deadly claws.
Hmph! Dogs! Such pansies!

It's not my fault, see -
The plant wants me to eat it.
"I dare you," it said!

She can't see me. Soon
I shall pounce her wee brains out!
Wait for it...and NOW!

Watch this - I chirp, and
He picks me up without fail.
I trained him GREAT, huh?

Dude, haikus are fun!
Especially ones about
Tino and Mena.

France's government decreed a ban on smoking in most public buildings starting February 1. A government rep stated it was long overdue.  “Smoking is a filthy habit and shouldn’t be tolerated.” When asked if they will also work on improving relations with American Tourists they said; “now, let’s not get carried away here.”