A foreman at Pennsylvania's Brendle Farms discovered a 4-legged chicken among the 36,000 on the farm. "Sometimes I count their feet and divide by two, but it just wasn't adding up right this time," said the foreman.

Mark Brendle, owner of the farm abutting Three Mile Island nuclear power plant, was excited about the discovery. "We'll put it next to the two-headed duck and the pig with five sets of teats," he said.

Country singer Willie Nelson was issued a misdemeanor citation after marijuana was found in his tour bus on Monday.

In other shocking news, ice cream was found in Roseanne Barr's fridge, candy was found in John Mark Karr's van, and tearing was found in Harvey Fierstein's butt.

"I'm just glad I wasn't drunk at the time," said our nation's leader.

On Sunday, the Pope said he is "deeply sorry for the reactions" to his comments about Islam. He then mumbled something about Jews being "way cooler" about the Holocaust.

President Hugo Chavez called President Bush, "El Diablo" (The Devil).

Guess he hasn't met Vice President Cheney.

Opens three point lead on "Flag Burnin'" Billings.

Former New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey is reminded of the time he was in a bathroom stall with holes in it.

Due to an E. coli scare, Americans are being warned not to eat spinach. The average American, when reached for comment at a McDonald’s, asked, "What’s spinach?"

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad scoffed at suggestions he's anti-Semitic yesterday.

"I'm not anti-Jew," he told reporters at the UN. "I prefer to think of myself as pro-Gibson."

ANKARA, Turkey - Muslims in Turkey, Iraq and the Palestinian territories demanded Tuesday that Pope Benedict XVI make a clear apology for his remarks on Islam, instead of saying only that he was, "deeply sorry" that Muslims had taken offense.

To which the Pope replied, "Fine. I'm really, really sorry."

Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela, called Bush a "devil" on the floor of the UN. Where he got the idea that Bush is a devil, I have no idea.