The Atlanta Braves have added Tom Glavine and Ken Griffey Jr. to their wish list. Also on their wish list? Liniment, a hospital, and a time machine.

Alex Rodriguez was spotted with six different women on Valentine's Day weekend. Clearly, his performance enhancer is Cialis.

We do too Tanya. That's why we stopped giving a crap 15 years ago.

David Ortiz says players who test positive for steroids should be suspended from baseball for the whole season. Ortiz is confident saying that, since his drug of choice is gravy.

Seems  N.Y. Post Owner Rupert Murdoch has finally lost his mind.  The paper printed a cartoon depicting 2 Police officers shooting a chimp with the caption: “They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.”  It seems even Travis the chimp would have said, “Mmmm, No.  That’s totally inappropriate!!”

Wii want to make our girlfriends lose respect for us.

Wii want to remind ourselves constantly that our little siblings are better at something than Wii are.

Wii want to embarrass ourselves at parties by being “totally sick” at Mario Kart.

Wii want to violently thrash around until Link breaks something or Wii break the TV with the Wii-mote.

Wii want our Match.com profile to include “Cooking Mama” as a hobby.

Wii want to remind ourselves that this machine was designed for children.

Wii want to Wii-ken our shot at Grad School.

Wii want (need) another activity that gets better while drinking.

Wii want to die alone.

Wii want to play (sort of).

I’ve noticed that when it comes to relationships, if you want them to have longevity it’s all about compatibility.  I didn’t realize until I started dating what’s her name.

The Obama Administration rolled out its much-awaited foreclosure-prevention plan on Wednesday nicknamed “The Ponzi Policy”, saying if it could work for Bernie Madoff, it could work for the United States.  

The plan asks those facing foreclosure to simply send a check for a thousand dollars to the first name on the list, “Fannie Mae”, then place their name at the bottom of the list, and ask 275 million friends to do the same. 

Alex Rodriguez has allegedly told his friends that he's over Madonna. And under her. And behind her.
 

A Buffalo man who founded a cable TV station to promote better understanding of Muslims in the U.S. has been arrested on charges he beheaded his wife. For obvious reasons, next weeks show on wiring up your child's backpack has been canceled.

www.jerrywolski.com
 

President Obama contributed $75 billion to help homeowners during the mortgage crisis.

It's true! Bank CEOs are homeowners.