Kim Jong Il apologized for testing a nuclear weapon. When asked to explain his actions, he said, “Uh... I'm an alcoholic?”

Horrified children would rather remain in foster system.

Pillbox Hat

Burberry Scarf

African Baby

Rumor has it that former Spice Girl Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is pregnant by Eddie Murphy.

Which will make this the world's first baby to be born a has-been.

The Rev. Al Sharpton is due in South Carolina today to stand up for comic Chris Rock's mama, Rose Rock, to demonstrate outside a Cracker Barrel restaurant where she alleges staffers ignored her.

Experts agree that if she had spoken with the forced delivery Chris uses to get extra attention for weak jokes, there would’ve never been a problem.

Katie Holmes’ feisty grandmother was sure of one thing — she didn't like Tom Cruise! "All she knew was that he took her little girl away — and she hated him," a Holmes family neighbor told The Enquirer.

Unfortunately the feeling is mutual. Romular from Sector 14, Tom’s Godfather, vowed to phaser her and consume her for nutrients unavailable in his atmosphere.

 I spy with my little eye something............Jew.  Wait, I mean blue.

Introducing...The Venetian Veil!

Wear the blinds up for complete Western assimiliation, but when those pesky morality police come poking around, simply tug, pull to the left, and presto! Instant Muslim old school.

Lindsay Lohan tells InStyle Magazine in an upcoming issue that she plans to be married by the time she's 30.

Interestingly enough, she also describes her current plan to leave behind a drug-bloated corpse by the time she's 25, as "still very much on pace."

The one-year-old boy that Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie are seeking to adopt left for England on Monday, flying first on a chartered plane to South Africa, then on a flight to London, where the pop singer has a home.

The couple wanted the boy to start off on the right foot, getting used to being with hired help and no real parents for the rest of his life.