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The funniest jokes from April back in 2007:
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Joke List: Highest Rated (From Week Starting Apr 13, 2008)
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 Via LA Times
"I see London, I see France..."
New airport body scanners at LAX can see if you are concealing a knife, gun, or fake boobs. For example, this woman has a tail, and will not be allowed to fly.
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Disneyland had to close the ride "It's A Small World" because the boats kept getting stuck, actually sinking to the bottom. The ride will be revamped to accomodate the average American that weighs at least 20 pounds more than they did when the ride was designed. Apparantly, it's not such a small world afterall.
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 via CBSNews.com
Marilyn made a 15 minute sex tape in the 1950's that was just sold to an anonymous business man for $1.5 Million. Keya Morgan, who is making a documentary on Marilyn, has seen the film and said the video wont be released as he and the business man "would never have {their} name attached to anything if it would embarrass Marilyn Monroe or if it would in any way harm her image."
But he did say that she blows an unidentified co-star in the film, and the FBI got a bunch government hookers to try to figure out if our hero’s johnson resembled JFK’s.
What a Gentleman
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 Via AP News
Custer County Sheriff Mike Burgess resigned Wednesday just as state prosecutors filed 35 felony charges against him. He's got everything from forcing wet t-shirt contests with free cigarettes for flashing your boobs to 2nd degree rape. He faces a possible sentence of 467 years in prison.
Here is what I love about American Justice... if convicted, he will continue to get laid in jail, just on the receiving end, and he wont even get free cigarettes for it.
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 Via AP News
SAN ANGELO, Texas (AP) — When police officers armed with weapons and protective gear descended on a West Texas ranch owned by a polygamist church, its members responded by going to their knees in song and prayer.
They expect their imaginary friends to show up any day now and save them. One thing you have to remember about God though, is he works in mysterious ways.... like not showing up. I remember when he didn't show up to my High School graduation... I was very upset... he didn't even send a card.... not even an e-card :-(
Oh well, maybe the Polygamists are more deserving than me... so I wish them the best of luck with their prayers and I look forward to a new season of "Big Love"
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 Professional retard and socialite Paris Hilton is reportedly trying to have a baby.
In other news, Paris Hilton's uterus filed its resignation.
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 The Vatican suspended a gay cleric who confessed his homosexuality on television, even though his face and voice were made unrecognizable.
Apparently, this priest was suspended once before - in a cage above the dance floor at “Sweet Cheeks” in San Francisco.
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MANILA, Philippines - A video posted on YouTube showing Philippine doctors laughing while removing an object from a patient may lead to charges against the surgeons and cost them their medical licenses, officials said Wednesday.
As a doctor gingerly pulls out the 6-inch long canister from the male patient's rectum, someone shouts, "Baby out!" amid loud cheers.
The doctor then removes the canister cap and sprays the contents toward the crowd of nurses and doctors viewing the procedure.
Deodorant, I presume?
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