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The funniest jokes from March back in 2006:
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Starbucks has donated 500 million dollars to Stem Cell Research, in hopes of finding a way to install a Starbucks in everyones head. Until that time they will just continue putting one on every block around the world.
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Joke List: Highest Rated (From Week Starting Mar 11, 2007)
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 Starbucks is starting up it's own record label and have plans to sign Paul McCartney.
The former Beatle's first release for the label will be entitled "Band with the Runs".
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 In an effort to blunt the hysteria over Barak Obama, who many have likened to John F. Kennedy because of Obama’s charisma, Hillary attempted to claim JFK as her own.
Appearing in Nashua, NH, candidate Clinton said she is like JFK because she is shrill, vindictive and divisive, which in a parallel universe, is just like JFK.
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Many people around the country gathered this past Wednesday, March 14th, to celebrate Pi Day.
It was celebrated on 3/14 because 3.14 represents both the mathemtical equation and the precise amount of time in seconds any of its' participants has ever been in bed with someone.
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Nino's Bellisima Pizza restaurant in New York is now offering a grand pizza -- or rather -- a pizza costing a grand. Nino was quoted, "If I could only sell one it would be show how stupid the rich really are".
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This past weekend, the movie "300" grossed lots of money and has gone on to be the first movie in history where everyone in the entire film has abs. Even the monster had abs. Several historians have gone on record saying that not all Spartans had abs back in the day. In fact, there once was a fat Spartan named Spiros , who refused to ever do a sit-up, and had to have a special "Gut-plate" made of bronze to protect his stomach in battle. He killed many Greeks, and a few Trojans, but, alas, choked on an olive pit one night at a feast, and his fat ass was sent out to sea on a burning raft like a viking funeral without the viking. Hollywood is now developing a film about Spiros, based on the graphic novel "Two Eggs Over, Whole Wheat Toast".
In it, Spiros time travels from ancient Sparta to modern day Newark, and opens Olympia Diner. All is going great until a couple of naked Greeks show up and start trouble. It eventually gets resolved after a heavy bout of anal sex with a guy named Zorba on a huge block of feta cheese. Tom Cruise is attached to play Spiros and Hugh Grant to play the block of cheese.
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 I'm not from New York, but I just visited a friend of mine who works for the water department. New York is nuts. I thought Boston was nuts.
I am taking money out of the ATM and I just have about 10 bucks in my account at the time, and the ATM machine says in a loud deep voice "HEY! What are you broke, you bum"?
I said who said that?
ATM: Me you numbskull, who do you think your talking to Fred Astaire?
Or on other days, I took out 400 bucks and it says what are you getting Some WHORES! You GOING to SPEND ALL your Money on WHORES!!
Then the last night there, I stopped at the ATM it was about 3am.
ATM MACHINE: What do you want money for now at this hour? What are you? ONE of those CRACK addicts! Get a life retard!
Then the money pops out of the dispenser and I go to reach for it, and the damn machine pulls the bills back in. I take my hand away and the money pops back out again. I reach, and machine pulls it back in, I unreach, it pops out, I reach, it pops back in. Goes on like this for 30 minutes and the ATM machine is laughing hysterically..... Finally it spits my money out all over the street and I grab it and leave, while walking away it makes cat calls to me and calls me a sissy and calls me back to fight.. I just keep walking. What am I going to tell my kids when they grow up? Hey, if a ATM machine starts a fight with you, just keep on walking...Get away as fast as you can... Just get your money and go.
If you don't believe any of this, I did get a picture of ATM giving me the finger above with my cell phone camera. Every time I tried to put my secret code in it would block my view and give me the finger.
Only in New York....
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Next Week
Rep. Pete Stark has 
So...
(See map for proposed locations)
