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The funniest jokes from December back in 2006:
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Matthew McKnight holds the Guinness record for "Greatest Distance Thrown in a Car Accident." He lived to tell about being thrown 118 feet by a car that hit him while traveling about 70 mph.
This record is probably safe unless Kate Moss gets hit by a speeding Hummer.
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Joke List: Highest Rated (From Week Starting Dec 9, 2007)
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From Each: Day | Week | 2 Weeks | Month | 3 Months | 6 Months | Year | All Time
22 year old Jamie Leigh Jones has said that she was gang-raped by several of her fellow Halliburton co-workers in Baghdad - an incident which she further alleges was then covered up by Halliburton, its subsidiary KBR and the U.S. government for over two years now.
Whenever a rape charge is made, the process that follows is a grueling one. Because of the nature of the crime - especially when there is only one plaintiff - it tends to be difficult to see justice done.
Let's just hope that this young woman's courage and fortitude will be enough to inspire the rest of America to step forward.
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BERLIN (AP) - A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning after quaffing a liter of vodka at an airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with new carry-on rules.
Passengers had to wait an additional twenty minutes while a woman used all her shampoo and bottled water rather than surrender them to security personnel.
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The Chicago Cubs signed Kosuke Fukudome to a 4-year, $48 million dollar contract this week. Fukudome played for the Chunichi Dragons last year, helping them win their first Japanese World Series in 53 years. Signing with the Cubs will give Fukudome a chance to play with another team that will not win a World Series for another 53 years.
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Jennifer Lopez has fueled rumors she is expecting twins by purchasing matching pink and blue outfits embroidered with the words "prince" and "princess." In all fairness, Macr Anthony is very short.
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My friend Steve paid $400 for a weekend seminar on how to get rich in real estate. According to the brochure - "Banks are just giving away real estate - find out how you can get some!"
Trust me, banks are NOT giving away real estate. We are talking about the people who put a long chain on a pen that doesn't work. I don't think they're giving away apartment houses.
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Question: If the current “man-induced global warming” alarmists are proven beyond reasonable doubt they are wrong, when will they apologize?
Answer: When Hell freezes over.
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Not really a joke but I just got a fortune cookie
"You will win the respect of your pears".
Can you believe there are people who entrust their fate to a fortune cookie? Me, I take charge of my fate - I open cookie after cookie till I find a fortune I like.
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Scott Niedermayer will rejoin the Anaheim Ducks after missing the team's first 28 games. Niedermayer wasn't retiring, he just hadn't realized that the NHL season had started.
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All Jevon Jackson wanted was to hang a picture of Jennifer Aniston in his room. But because his room was a cell at a Green Bay prison, the warden wouldn't allow it. The warden added, "Hey dummy, I have seen 'The Shawshank Redemption.'"
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Copyright 2006-2008 © International Mining and Steel, Inc.
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