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The funniest jokes from September back in 2006:
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 Every morning I get up and have to delete at least 15 junk emails on enlarging my Johnson. They have a pump, a patch, and now a cream.
So let me get this straight... I rub this cream on my penis and it gets bigger!??? I could do that with shampoo!
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Joke List: Highest Rated (From Week Starting Sep 9, 2007)
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 Former NFL star running back (and murderer) O.J. Simpson has been questioned as a possible suspect in an alleged theft at a hotel-casino in Las Vegas, Nevada, police spokesman said Friday. Simpson claims that he was conducting a sting operation to collect some of his own memorabilia.
In the room, police did find the items belonging to Simpson:
A Bloody Glove
A Bloody Knife
A Bloody football
A Bloody Heisman Trophy
A Bloody Jersey
A Bloody white diamond dress once belonging to Carol Channing and a pair of Bloody socks.
Simpson was adamant about having his name besmirched as a thief. "I hate being labeled a thief" stated Simpson.
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A Russian governor encouraged workers to stay home and make love to help boost the nation’s dwindling birth rate. And to help raise money to recharge the U.S. economy, the Speaker of the House urged every member of Congress to return to their home states and screw the middle class!
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World champion Tyson Gay has decided to pull out of the Golden League 100 meters due to fatigue. Gay was exhausted after years spent running from his last name.
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Mel Gibson is on board with Venod Sekhar to find an environmentally safe way to recycle old tires. Sekhar is one of Malaysia's wealthiest men, and Gibson is best known for his work insulting women, police and jews.
Sekhar was quoted as saying, "We don't have any jews in Malaysia, so it's no big deal."
Gibson was quoted as saying "Burning tires is bad for the environment. Burning jews however..."
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 Frances Townsend, President Bush's national security adviser, said that Osama bin Laden may be grabbing headlines with a new videotape, but he is "virtually impotent".
So I guess this means that Osama can still f**k us, he just can't get us pregnant.
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No, Girl. I need help. YOU need a milkshake.
But to help, I can show you how it's done--through my 12-step program,which can cure you within two weeks.
Breakfast 1: Mc’Donald’s bacon, egg & cheese
Breakfast 2: IHOP apple crepe
Mid-morning snack: Little Debbie’s brownies, 1 box
Lunch: Sonic burger w/fries & Oreo Fudge shake
Lunch 2: Cobb Salad, extra honey mustard dressing
Afternoon snack: Pringles Original + one can Planters cashews
Dinner 1: reuben, diet coke
Dinner 2: 2 Pizza Hut personal pan pizzas
Dinner 3: steak frite
Evening snack: cake w/skim milk
Midnight snack: burrito
Wake up at 3 a.m. for emergency Swiss rolls
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 Hollywood, CA - Road-comedian Billy Spado, 43, raised the standup comedy bar to staggering new heights on Tuesday at Hollywood's own The Comedy Store with brilliantly hilarious cracks about the US-Mexican border, as well as Britney Spears recent performance at the VMA awards show. Spado's unique style of observational humor left the 90-person audience breathless from laughter.
"Bush should build a wall along the Mexican border to keep out illegal immigrants. And you know who's gonna build that wall? The illegal Mexican immigrants, that's who!" Spado exclaimed to a cheering crowd.
Spado's crack about Spears' VMA performance was a stunningly brilliant sight gag that we can't really put into words, but trust us, it absolutely slaughtered the crowd.
Spado will be here all week.
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The NFL's New England Patriots had a video camera confiscated during their 38-14 win against the Jets on Sunday- after a coach on their sidelines was suspected of stealing Jets play calls. The Patriots admit taping the game, but only to win America's Funniest Home Videos.
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Next Week
Burger King pledged to take a huge step in the direction of healthier nutrition.
