Amanda Lynn Livelsberger has pleaded guilty to rewarding her 13-year-old son with marijuana when he completed his homework. Pot for doing homework? My mom wouldn't even give me a fruit roll-up!

Livelsberger said she started smoking pot with her son when he was 11-years-old, which is understandable...Someone to watch The Flinstones with.

Violates own civil rights during capture.

On Sept. 7, Pluto, the former 9th planet was assigned the asteroid number 134340 by the Minor Planet Center, the official organization responsible for collecting data about asteroids and comets in our solar system.

On September 8, the Major Planet Center gave Pamela Anderson's breasts (formerly asteroid numbers 38A-22-34 and 38B-22-34), official planet status. They will now officially be known as Sweeeeeet and ZaZaZowie.

Today, September 11th, America mourns the 5^th anniversary of the launch of Ann Coulter’s literary career.

-Sept. 11, 2006

Angelina Jolie's new CooterCam™ transmitted its first image to DailyComedy.com today. (Special thanks to National Geographic for all their hard work.)

Today I learned Andy Samberg of SNL fame is dating Kirsten Dunst aka Marie Antoinette, Queen of Lame. Uncool Andy. Why won't you return my calls? Also uncool. (quickly IMDBs Kirsten Dunst) Well, have fun Bringing it On in Elizabethtown while this Crazy/Beautiful Mona Lisa is NOT Smiling. Enjoy your constant Interview with a snaggletoothed Vampire. Why can't you be MY Spider Man for once? Am I not Drop Dead Gorgeous? Why do you have to be such a Dick? You told me I was The Cat's Meow! Did you catch the US Open last week at Wimbledon? Me either. Anyway, Im gonna go play Jumanji with some Little Women. Oh, and thanks for leaving me Fifteen and Pregnant. I'll Get Over It.
Deeply,
Deanna

Recently, several people have gotten in trouble for selling access to Hezbollah TV in the US, which has banned the station after designating Hezbollah a terrorist organization.

However, I must admit that my curiosity was piqued, and after a long search I finally pointed my satellite dish in the right direction. The following are my 5 favorite Hezbollah TV shows:

5. No Deal or No Deal
4. Survivor: Beirut
3. Desperate Jihadists
2. VH1: Behind the Explosives
1. Two and a Half Jews

*Addendum- added 10/19/06:
 Today I heard Bill Maher use the No Deal or No Deal joke on Real Time, refering to an Iraqi TV show,  so don't think I stole it from him, because I wrote this at least 2 weeks ago.  Just know that I'm as funny as he is, only sooner...Tim

LOS ANGELES (Sept. 13) - The tumultuous marriage of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown—which withstood drug addiction, Brown's numerous arrests, the decline of Houston's once sparkling image and domestic abuse allegations is coming to an end.

"She just doesn't seem like the same girl I married," said Brown.

The Boy Scouts of America, who have enjoyed a rent-free headquarters in the city for 70 years, may have to start paying—because of city officials' opposition to the Scouts policy against gay scout leaders.

Meanwhile, no one is really sure who this guy is in the official Boy Scout statue, but one wonders about his orientation.

Found in the Mexican state of Veracruz, archaeologists say this slab of stone is the oldest script ever discovered in the Western Hemisphere. (14 inches long, 8 inches wide and 5 inches thick.)

Scientists were chagrined when upon disciphering the relic, it turned out to be a flier for "Troglo-bites," a primitive strip club in downtown Veracruz. The cave closed in approximately 900 B.C. due to complaints from neighborhood residents and the fact the dollar bill was not invented yet.

A New York deli worker hit the $1 million lottery... again. After she won the first million she kept her deli job and said she intends to keep working.

Her name was released as Valerie Wilson, but to New Yorkers she's known by the more affectionate name of, "Lucky Fucking Bitch."

On a side note, deli worker applications have tripled.