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The funniest jokes from July back in 2007:
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Joke List: Highest Rated (From Week Starting Jul 6, 2008)
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A recent report suggesting that watermelon may act as a natural Viagra was successfully tested by a Missouri man this past Fourth of July weekend. While at a picnic in St. Louis, Jason Morehart consumed two entire watermelons and went on to win the "three-legged race".....solo.
see more at :www.jerrywolski.com
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A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years!", he says.
She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"
He replies, "Ten years!"
She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.
He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"
Then she starts unzipping a longer zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?"
And the man replies, "Wow! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there!"
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Rules of Engagement For McCain and Obama.
1. Music in background must be from "West Side Story" the "Jet Song."
2. No Brass knuckles, guns, broken coke bottles or clubs with nails.
3. Switchblades are the weapon of choice, biting, scratching, clawing are allowed.
The winner gets all the Latino voters.
Not all were happy with the rules of engagement.
One prominent Latino Spokesperson said, "This is an outrage in this day and age, to classify Latinos in this category of "West Side Story", but on the other hand, the Latino spokesperson went on to say "This should be a good battle." However, I would prefer a good cockfight. Si!
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 Phil Gramm, a top adviser to Sen. John McCain, on Thursday stood by his comment that the country is in a "mental recession," and said he was trying to say the nation's leaders, not its people, were "whiners."
Pictured here is McCain teaching other Nation leaders the "Right" facial expression to make, when whining.
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...china's state run news agency, usually tight -lipped about such matters and amid concerns about safety at the Olympics, has revised its statistics regarding the recent earthquake...China now says that no one died in the quake, but that 34,867 citizens died in a single bus rollover accident.
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A California group wants to rename a sewage treatment plant after President Bush. The Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco hopes to honor his legacy by changing the name of the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant to the George W. Bush Sewage Plant. A White House spokesman called the idea "a bunch of crap."
see more at :www.jerrywolski.com
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 Actors Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright and five others involved in filming Oliver Stone's George Bush biopic movie "W" were arrested during a bar fight Saturday morning, police said.
Apparently the fight broke out when no one could cover Jenna Bush's bar tab.
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Next Week
Let's give credit where credit is due. I think Carlin would agree. If it wasn't for Bozo I do not know where I would be today.
