Nike has confiscated a tape of a college player dunking on LeBron James to help one of their athletes save face. No word yet on what they plan to do with ten million copies of Kazaam.
 

Sarah Palin made the decision recently that her husband should have.

 Pull out early!

The Chinese Military has begun using Segway Scooters.

I think it's a bad idea to have an army that can be immobilized by building a six inch curb.

A runway at JFK airport was shut down Wednesday morning after 78 turtles crawled onto the tarmac.  So let's recap:  Geese taking down jets, turtles shutting down runways, pigs spreading the flu...I'm starting to think Old MacDonald is a terrorist.  

It's different for each person.  Not everyone gets the heavy-duty sweats.  There's more than one way to tell that you're menopausal.  For instance, getting food caught in your mustache -- that's an indicator.

Sarah Palin says she quit her office to answer a "higher calling"...sigh.

Y'ever feel like you could almost see how a chain of events will come to pass? I like to call it "Writer's Foresight," because sometimes people's lives will fit a certain narrative model almost perfectly. And I'll tell ya - considering this woman has never met an epiphany she couldn't MISS, I do NOT see her personal story ending well.

At the rate she's going, I'd bet anybody $100 she winds up drunk and insane like "Lola" from "Copacabana:" Her name was SArah...she was a MOron...she sported shoulderlengthbrownhair, and a foureyedvacantstare... 

A spokesperson for 20th Century Fox announced today Sarah Palin will reprise the role of  Lt.Cmdr. Captain Philip Francis Queeg in the upcoming remake of  the 1954 classic,  " The Caine Mutiny " .  We were working on this idea for many years . The movie had to be put on the back burner because we just couldn't find a suitable player for the leading character . After listening to Ms. Palin's incoherent rambling resignation speech yesterday, we knew we found our " Old Yellow Stain ! " Sarah is very delighted for having the chance to play her role as the paranoid U.S. Navy skipper who nearly sinks her own ship during a typhoon .  We gave her a copy of the court-room script . That's the scene where under intense questioning, Queeg whips out two large steel ball bearings and goes to peices on the witness stand .  We also have a part for Sen. John McCain in this new Caine Mutiny movie, but we're not sure these two prima donna's can work well together while under pressure ? * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  (kascha-whitney)

Swiss sensation Roger Federer won his sixth Wimbledon title. But fans were most impressed when his racket turned into a knife and a bottle opener.
 

Barack Obama and the Pope shared warm greetings.   After kneeling and kissing his ring,  the Pope got up and embraced Obama.

This was their first meeting.  However, the Pope has been following Obama on Twitter.

During the meeting the Pope expressed his opposition to abortion, stem cell research, and Jon & Kate's divorce.