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The funniest jokes from March back in 2006:
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Chicago saw warmer temperatures Friday, and most of the remaining ice on the ground has now melted. Area residents say they would be more excited, but someone keeps artificially cooling the ice where the Blackhawks play.
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Joke List: Highest Rated (From Week Starting Mar 4, 2007)
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Police are investigating a 28-year-old woman who kept the body of her roommate in their apartment for up to three weeks.
When questioned by police if she recently had an argument with her roommate the woman said, "No, in fact for the past three weeks we got along just fine."
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Maggie Gyllenhaal is in final talks to star opposite Christian Bale
in Christopher Nolan's "The Dark Knight," the next installment in the revitalized Batman franchise. She'll play the role of Rachel Dawes, played by Katie Holmes in "Batman Begins." Holmes dropped out of theproject earlier in the year.
It is speculated that Holmes was persuaded not to do the film by husband Tom Cruise. Cruise is upset that Batman is not a Scientologist - he is a Reform Jew. Also, it is widely known that Batman takes Prozac, and drives around in a Batmobile, not a spaceship.
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According to the U.S. Mint, an unknown number of Washington dollar coins were put into circulation without the "In God We Trust" engraving on the edge. Other mistakes in the minting process have also been discovered.
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"Star Jones has finally become the skinny bitch we always talked about!" Joy Behar commented on yesterdays episode of The View as a picture of the newly svelte Jones loomed in the background. "It's wierd, it's just friggin wierd" yelled Rosie O' Donnell, who was feeling refreshed and vigorous after hanging upside down for an hour in the greenroom to "help with depression" and "to swell up my tongue so that it feels like a shlong when I give my lady-friend cunnilingous through a Dunkin' Doughnut hole".
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After a visit to preacher T.D. Jakes' City Of Refuge Church, Death Row records founder Marion "Suge" Knight has finally seen the light. "We shouldn't be constantly feeding negative energy to these kids" he said. "You can get rich with the devils money but you can only be happy with God's money".
At a titty bar later that evening, Suge unhappily received lap dances and purged negativity by slipping only devils money between undulating ass- cheeks, while keeping Gods money safely tucked beneath his 9 millimeter.
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The principal at John Jay High school in Cross River N.Y. has suspended 3 students who defied a direct order not to say the word "vagina" during a reading of the Vagina Monologues. Principal Dick Hardly said: " I told the youngsters to refer to the v-words as "Goateed holes that come in the night and try to suffocate your face" or "secret places to store smoked almonds" but they had to go and sexualize things, and will be dealt with appropriately. I have been hearing about these v-word things' existence for a long time, but fortunately have never encountered a real one, don't believe they exist, and challenge anyone to prove otherwise."
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Copyright 2006-2008 © International Mining and Steel, Inc.
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