I knew my husband was adjusting to our separation (or his new girlfriend) when he'd swing to the other view and say things like, "We had different goals.  We didn't want the same things out of life."  And I thought, Geez, I don't know about that.  It seemed to me we both always wanted to run my life.

A British newspaper published a photo of Michael Phelps inhaling from a marijuana pipe. Phelps says he only took one hit, but he held it for three minutes.

Paris Hilton was recently spotted making out with Barry Zito at a Hollywood hotspot. For those of you keeping score at home, Hilton has now worked her way through the entire alphabet.

A Tucson Arizona cable television provider has apologized to area customers after 30-seconds of porn was mistakenly shown during the Super Bowl.  Customers angrily called when programming returned to the Super Bowl.

US seamen are now being trained to fend off pirates at sea. First, they were told to stop dressing like whores.

Today Phelps admitted his Olympic achievement was not quite what he’d hoped it would be.  He said the only reason he swam so fast was the Chinese Press assured him he had a chance to win “Oct” (eight) - “Pool” (swimming) – “Co” (team) – “Gold” (medals)… Oct-Pool-Co-Gold… Accapulco Gold… you can see the confusion…

The Westminster Kennel Club today introduced the latest breed allowed into the competition, the French Mastiff.     During today's photo op, a German shepherd walked into the room and the French Mastiff promptly rolled over and played dead.  

The distraught granny told a local newspaper, "I can't understand it;  I had no trouble obtaining a license when I lived in Florida."

Incredibly, by Florida standards, he's still considered to be a safe driver.