John Edwards was banned from speaking at the Democratic Convention in light of his extra-marital affair and subsequent lying about it. Bill Clinton spoke in his place.

Sarah Palin in her address to the Republican Convention last night described herself as an average "hockey mom."  So why then didn't she do a better job educating  her daughter on "keeping players out of the crease." 

Alaska governor Sarah Palin (the vice president nomination) reveals her history in this exclusive footage of her accepting the republican committee's nomination to be interim vice president (until McCain's heart gives out).

"She said she had not enjoyed it. Isn't that amazing? Something like 100 million Americans have smoked marijuana. The only people who don't seem to enjoy it are running for office."

Jay Leno

Gustav is proof that Mother Nature is more powerful than man.   In just a few hours Gustav could inflict as much damage to the economy as George Bush did in eight years.  

McCain announced today that he would name Levi Johnston, the future son in law of Sarah Palin, Energy Secretary in his administration. When asked about appointing a high schooler with no experience, McCain said "This guy is perfect for me, not only is he not afraid to drill offshore, he is also comfortable drilling onshore in unprotected areas."

A teleconference between the media and Central Florida football coach George O'Leary was canceled Monday because school officials accidentally gave the number for a phone sex line instead of the teleconference number. Members of the media initially became suspicious since the answer to every one of their questions was "Yes, yes, YES!!!"

Alaska makes Craig an honorary citizen. The Governor of Alaska (now John McCain's 2008 running mate) sends Craig Ferguson a personal video offering honorary citizenship to the host. From June of 2007.

Actor David Duchovny is in rehab for sex addiction. The "X-Files" star says that while he has never cheated on his wife, he is being treated for a compulsion for sex and pornography. Duchovny's wife actress Tea Leoni, will release a statement shortly after completing a well deserved two week nap. 

www.jerrywolski.com

President Bush is working on his legacy as his days in office dwindle down.

Today, invoking Ronald Reagan, the President called on China to tear its wall down.