....the financial crisis has reached nearly every part of society....i was at a strip club and i saw a guy tucking food stamps into a dancer's G-string..... 

The financial crisis is not affecting me.  All my money is tied up in unearned income. 

After her performance in last night’s debate, Sarah Palin has dropped out of the Vice Presidential race citing financial hardship.  She reportedly has signed lucrative contracts with Anheuser Bush and The National Tourette Syndrome Foundation.

Some conservatives say that Gwen Ifill's upcoming book, 'The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama,' is pro-Obama and proves her bias to the left. These are the same people that say the bible proves Bush right.

The Senate is very proud to have done the work they're supposed to do all the time.

 Recently , Clay Aiken narrowly survived a bear attack. His publicist says he will never wear hot pants in West Hollywood ever again...

Sarah's secret weapon for the debate.  I wonder if Biden can play flute like this?

We’ve got to have all options out there on the table because I’m ill and we’ve created 5 out of 4 jobs in the vodka distillers sector because the strategy in Iraq is what John wants to see if we are going to be successful in our quest to keep an eye on Russia throughout our great history. Why are you asking me these gotcha questions Gwinn? I have a gun and you look like a cute little moose.

...lindsay lohan is reportedly interested in moving into the Dakota Apts...the tenant board agreed to let her move in....just as long as mark david chapman gets to be the doorman.... 

During last night's debate Sarah Palin twice mistakenly  referred to the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan as "Gen. McClellan." His name is David McKiernan.  General McClellan was a union general during the civil war.  Ironically, John McCain served with distinction under General McClellan.