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The funniest jokes from August back in 2006:
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Joke List: Highest Rated (From Week Starting Jul 29, 2007)
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Hollywood pigeons are being put on the pill to prevent pigeon population. That sounds more sensible than what the pigeons here in New York do: Pull out.
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In an effort to control the pigeon population in Hollywood, a birth control product called OvoControl P, which interferes with egg development, will be placed in bird food in new rooftop feeders.
Although the pigeons should experience a lot less bloating going forward, veterinarians caution the pill is not effective in preventing avian flu.
As an alternative to the program, the Bush administration urges abstinence until marriage.
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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie allegedly got into a heated political debate about their preferred Democratic presidential candidates - Brad supports Barack Obama, while Angelina is backing his rival John Edwards. Both do agree that picking a candidate that will not win is the way to go.
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 Via abcnews.com
Photo by Ida Mae Astute / ABC
Nicole Richie and her boyfriend of the week, Joel Madden, are having a baby!
Take a close look at this photo from their Diane Sawyer "Good Morning America" interview.
They are both wearing the most conservative clothes they own, probably with the tags still on the back. Nicole is just so happy to be having a baby, not realizing babies are a lot harder to raise than a cabbage patch kid.
Meanwhile, her baby's daddy has his eyes closed in hopes that this is all just a dream and he will wake up any minute now and go back to smoking pot and watching the "Family Guy" marathon. Moments later he will open his eyes and think, "It's going to be a lot harder to talk her into an abortion after this national interview."
On a side note, in the interests of public safety, the baby will be born with its driver’s license revoked.
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A man with no arms and one leg was sentenced to five years in prison Friday on felony driving and drug charges. Although the judge did find it cute that he would drive in front of his family yelling "Look, ma, no arms!"
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 Elle magazine reports that Lindsay Lohan was adamant about never drinking and driving during an interview the day before her 1st DUI.
"I would not do that." she said.
Other things Lindsay thought she would not do:
Piss off Jane Fonda and, by extension, Vietnam.
Herbie Fully Loaded (while, ironically, being fully loaded).
Fez from That 70's Show.
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While she skirted questions about her dramatic weight loss for years, talk show personality Star Jones has now admitted to having gastric bypass surgery. She added that water is wet.
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 I just got back from Medieval Times and I had to speak to a manager because I suspected that the Green Knight, who won the tournament a little too easily, was on performance enhancing drugs.
The manager quickly pointed out that the show is staged, and I argued, so is wrestling... these knights should be tested.
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Next Week
"Does this alcohol monitor make me look fat?"
