This one girl brought her twin sister on Dr. Phil as an incentive to quit heroin. Is that just me or is that more of an incentive to use drugs.

Apparently, the medication is called "sunlight".

Richard Belzer reads from Barack Obama's inaugural address and George Carlin's FBI file.

Lindsay Lohan was recently out on the town wearing her fur when a bunch of animal rights activists threw flower on her. Records show this is the first time any legal white substance touched the star.

Dear Star Savior,

Hi. It’s George Takei and Ellen DeGeneres. We’re disappointed that California voters passed a ban on gay marriage, and we plan to keep fighting it. What advice do you have for us?


Dear George and Ellen,

I voted in support of gay marriage, so I hope the fight isn’t over. But getting people on board with gay marriage calls for more than just petitions and protests. It's time for some strategy.

You should encourage every gay couple to make their relationship even gayer by adding a third person. If people don’t like gay marriage, give them a taste of extra-strength gay marriage: an all-new, enriched, fortified version, now with 50% more gayness. Before long, they'll miss the days of traditional gay marriage.

The Star Savior