Happy people reported watching an average of 19 hours of TV per week, unhappy people reported 25 hours a week, and manic depressants reported watching 42 hours per week of NBC programming.

Richard Belzer reads from Barack Obama's inaugural address and George Carlin's FBI file.

 A woman accused of hiding a decaying corpse on her toilet so she could continue collecting her Social Security was convicted of a misdemeanor, a prosecutor said Monday.   Authorities say they will now turn their attention to another possible case of a corpse being used to collect Social Security when Wednesday they question the wife of Larry King.

This one girl brought her twin sister on Dr. Phil as an incentive to quit heroin. Is that just me or is that more of an incentive to use drugs.

50 Cent has a business-centered reality show on MTV.  Some of it is based on book smarts, but most is based on common sent. 

You know you watch too much television when you see a comerical and say...

"Oh! That's the short version of that comerical."