LeBron James and Shaquille O'Neal say they both want the same thing this season: to avoid being shot by Delonte West.
 

Shaquille O'Neal called Kobe Bryant the best player in the NBA. This was surprising, until we remembered the other meaning of the word "player."

Today Shaquille O'Neal generously let mom and kids live in one of his shoes.

And what made this victory extra sweet is he proved he could win without Shaquille O'Neal. 

Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant shared a single trophy after being named co-MVPs of the NBA All-Star Game. In related news, there is now peace in the Middle East.

Brit Drops kid Again

Brit Dropkicks Angelina’s kid

Brit Drops Jason Kid on Angelina’s kid

The Heat-Wave Goodbye to Dallas

The Heat-Wave that Stroked Dallas

The Heat-Wave Goodyear bye Shaq and Give it to Wade

FBI Pursues Pretenders Masquerading as War Heroes

FBI Pursues Pretenders Masquerading as Whores to Charge Zero

FBI Pursues Nathan Lane for Masquerading as Meatball Hero

Shaquille O'Neal has been traded to the Cleveland Cavaliers. The city is hoping that he can also help Jacobs Field look less empty.

Madonna has announced that she is no longer following Kabbalah, the obscure form of Jewish mysticism that she adopted as a new faith. Madonna stated that she left Kaballah because Britney Spears, also a follower, kept mistaking it for the film that starred Shaquille O’Neal as a rapping genie who used basketball to make the world a better place for kids.

Plus, they raised the cover charge at the Wilshire Boulevard House of Kaballah, and Guy Ritchie didn’t want his, "willy," circumcised.

HISTORICAL NOTE: Kaballah is named after the sound you hear when a suicide bomber explodes. It’s like the Middle Eastern, “Ta-dah.”

Shaquille O'Neal reportedly wants a two-year contract. We're keeping our fingers crossed that it's not a recording contract.
 

Shaquille O'Neal has challenged Lance Armstrong in a bike race. Shaq plans on carrying his.