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"Scarlett Johansson Says She's Happy with Her Curves" -- Associated Press, Sept. 19, 2006
And may we say we're happy for her. Next up: "Angelina Jolie Happy with Her Lips" and "Associated Press Happy with Hard-Hitting Entertainment Reporting About Breasts."
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 The sexy Scarlett Johansson will release her debut album: Anywhere I Lay My Head. The album features 10 Tom Waits covers and one original, which means she picked the one singer who ANYONE WILL SOUND BETTER THAN provided they are under 85, don’t use a voice box, and are not Bob Dylan. There is only one way that they could possibly market this: Sweet new remixes that ultimately focus on the Scarlett’s one selling point. Amazon.com has already released the following tracklist:
1. Just the Right Bullets (my tits)
2. The Black Rider (rides my tits)
3. I’ll Shoot the Moon (it’s the size of one tit)
4. The Heart of Saturday Night (is located on or near my titties)
5. November (was a cold month for my tits)
6. Christmas Card from a Hooker (me)
7. I Don’t Want to Grow Up (if it’s going to affect my tits)
8. Let Me Get Up On It (Remix)
9. Diamonds on my Windshield (look like nipples)
10. Big in Japan (comparatively)
11. Love is an Illusion (written and performed by me…while I was only wearing a bra)
12. Bonus Track: Fumblin’ with the Blues (and my boobies)
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Scarlett Johansson happily took part in an elaborate prize-giving ceremony yesterday after being crowned the Harvard Hasty Pudding woman of the year. I'm sorry, I passed out when I heard pudding and Scarlett Johansson in the same sentence.
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Copyright 2006-2008 © International Mining and Steel, Inc.
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