 |
Did you know?
We now allow guest commenting and rating on all our jokes and comedy videos! No need to register, just comment and rate. Go ahead... knock yourself out! Underneath each joke and video you can click on comments to read and post, and click on a star ( ) to rate.
|
Comedians, & Comedy Fans
Sign In to submit your funny
Oscar joke or video!
|
|
The funniest Entertainment jokes from this month last year:
|
"Vanity Fair Magazine" is canceling its annual Oscars party. They explained that having Tommy Lee Jones hanging around the other stars didn't fit their definitions of either "vanity" or "fair".
|
 Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email     | Comments (1) | Rate it:  |
Joke List: Most Views (From All Time)
Show Me: Most Recent | Highest Rated | Most Views | Most Shared | Most Comments
From Each: Day | Week | 2 Weeks | Month | 3 Months | 6 Months | Year | All Time
 Dear Star Savior,
Hi. I’m Academy Award-winning actress Tatum O’Neal. I was arrested Sunday night after being seen buying crack cocaine near my home in Manhattan. I’ve struggled with addiction for a long time, and I think I really need your help now. What advice do you have for me?
Dear Tatum,
You don’t necessarily have to give up crack. All you have to do is start buying your crack farther away from your home. Consider yourself lucky to be a New Yorker: There are plenty of helpful, reputable vendors all over town. Start with the phone book or the local Zagat guide to crack-buying. And don’t feel like your celebrity status means you have to go to five-star pushers. When you’re buying crack, you really don’t need top-notch valet service.
There is a rich tradition of outsiders visiting ghetto areas to buy drugs, so your arrest could mean it’s time to make your first junkie pilgrimage and experience the spiritual side of crack addiction. On these pilgrimages, all of the area’s fiends awake at sunrise and face east for their morning shakes. Then, they shamble through the streets until they see the sign that they have reached their mecca: a pair of shoes dangling from a power line.
When you see the dangling shoes — a crack addict’s North Star — you’ll know that your dealer is near. And when you’ve had your first group stupor, elbow-to-elbow with your fellow junkies, you’ll understand the meaning of all the previous day’s fasting and prayer and twitching. You’ll truly know what it means to be a crackhead.
The Star Savior
|
Facebook MySpace Twitter Email | Comments (0) | Rate it:      |
 Academy Award-winning actress Tatum O'Neal was released after her arraignment at a Manhattan courtroom Monday stemming from her weekend arrest for allegedly buying crack cocaine.
She denied this accusation by crying out that all of her crack is clearly labeled "Happy Birthday Addie" from her aunt Helen in Wichita.
|
Facebook MySpace Twitter Email | Comments (1) | Rate it: |
 LONDON, England -- Fashion icon and award-winning singer and actress Cher is clearing her Malibu home of its Gothic contents and reshaping her life in a giant garage sale. Among the items emanating from Cher’s closet cleaning; nearly 800 costumes and pieces of gem encrusted jewelry, over 150 works of art, 30 plus pieces of furniture, an Oscar, a Grammy, an Emmy, 3 Golden Globes, Tom Cruise, Bert and Ernie, Mike Piazza, every “metro sexual” who has ever worn a “salmon” shirt, Peppermint Patty, the brakes for Sonny Bono’s skis, Snagglepuss, Jeff Gordon, and my internet history folder after writing this joke.
|
Facebook MySpace Twitter Email | Comments (1) | Rate it: |
Esteemed actor and Oscar Winner Morgan Freeman has turned up in an amateur internet sex video, apparently made at the actor's home sometime recently. The tape, dubbed 'F*ck me, I'm Morgan Freeman' is gaining popularity due to the high level of vulgarity and lewd talk that Freeman displays during the act of fornication. The makeshift title is a line uttered by Freeman during the tape, and yelled several times while he has intercourse. Freeman and his lawyer could not be reached for comment.
Freeman, known to most for his syrupy-sweet drawling voice, has narrated and acted in many highly acclaimed films. To hear Freeman grunting about the size of his genitals, and pleading for his partner to engage in certain sexual acts, is startling. A simple Google search for ‘Morgan Freeman sex tape’ will take internet users right to a download. “How old is he anyways?” asked college student Tyrus Cobb, who watched the video. “It was like watching my granddad bang a retired hooker.” Freeman’s sex partner appears to be an older fan, perhaps a mistress. Her hair is graying, and she cannot accommodate several sex positions requested by Freeman. It is yet to be seen how this scandal will affect Freeman’s storied career. Other movie stars plagued by public sex scandals have varying degrees of success. Paris Hilton eventually signed a distribution deal for her sex video, and reaped millions. Freeman’s agent could not confirm, nor deny, that they would take the same path.
“We’ll have to see how the public reacts to the tape. I’ve seen it, and I think Morgan did some great work,” said Freeman’s accountant John Frunce. “For a man of his age to pull off some of those moves is truly amazing, and speaks volumes about his range as an actor.”
|
Facebook MySpace Twitter Email | Comments (0) | Rate it: |
 The nominees are (clockwise):
Jim Carrey in "The Number 23"
Anastasia Hille in "The Abandoned."
Nicholas Cage in "Ghost Rider"
Gaspard Ulliel in "Hannibal Rising."
With four movies playing this weekend, next year's most hotly contested category is expected to be Best Horror/Thriller With An Actor Whose Head is Tilted to the Side.
|
Facebook MySpace Twitter Email | Comments (0) | Rate it: |
Academy Award-winning actress Tatum O'Neal was arrested this past weekend for allegedly buying crack cocaine.
According to a police spokesman, she used her one phone call to contact her agent, to whom she stated "See? I can too get arrested in this town."
|
Facebook MySpace Twitter Email | Comments (0) | Rate it: |
|
|
