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Oscar
Hot Topic
Oscar Jokes

62 Jokes

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A Goody From Our Archive...   November 30, 2006

a rizzo
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Hollywood News

By: a rizzo (C)
Submitted: Nov 30, 2006
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Hollywood

175 Jokes  8 Videos

LOS ANGELES, CA--Nicole Kidman has been named the highest paid actress by The Hollywood Reporter on Wednesday. The Oscar-winning actress is said to make up to $17 million per movie. Ms. Kidman celebrated the exciting news by trying to move her face.


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Hot Topic Oscar 62 Jokes
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Wild Willy Parsons
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I smell Oscar

By: Wild Willy Parsons (C)
Submitted: Sep 1, 2008
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Oscar

62 Jokes

I smell Oscar

Oscar-winning actress Helen Mirren who played "The Queen" has revealed she was date-raped a couple times and did lots of cocaine when she was a student.

Variety reports that she has now surpassed Amy Winehouse as the front runner to play the lead in "Coke Whore".


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Alan Schwartz
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'Benjamin Button' leads Oscar nominations

By: Alan Schwartz (C)
Submitted: Jan 22, 2009
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Oscar

62 Jokes

To stay true to the spirit of the film, the Academy has agreed that if it wins Best Picture, it will win it as the first award of the evening, while winning an unimportant technical category to close the night.


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Wild Willy Parsons
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Oscar winning Cracktress

By: Wild Willy Parsons (C)
Submitted: Jun 2, 2008
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Oscar

62 Jokes

Oscar winning CracktressAcademy Award-winning actress Tatum O'Neal was released after her arraignment at a Manhattan courtroom Monday stemming from her weekend arrest for allegedly buying crack cocaine.

She denied this accusation by crying out that all of her crack is clearly labeled "Happy Birthday Addie" from her aunt Helen in Wichita.

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Meredith Daniels
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'Slumdog Millionaire'

By: Meredith Daniels (C)
Submitted: Feb 4, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Oscar

62 Jokes

'Slumdog Millionaire'

With the recent Oscar nominations for the movie 'Slumdog Millionaire' it appears auditions are on the rise for the game show 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire.' Oddly enough, auditions for 'Who Wants To Be a Slumdog' remain the same.


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Mark Jabo
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And The Oscar goes to . . . .

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Feb 24, 2007
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Oscar

62 Jokes

And The Oscar goes to . . . .The nominees are (clockwise):
Jim Carrey in "The Number 23"
Anastasia Hille in "The Abandoned."
Nicholas Cage in "Ghost Rider"
Gaspard Ulliel in "Hannibal Rising."


With four movies playing this weekend, next year's most hotly contested category is expected to be Best Horror/Thriller With An Actor Whose Head is Tilted to the Side.

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Dave Houston
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Meeting the Challenge

By: Dave Houston (C)
Submitted: Jun 2, 2008
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Cop

1358 Jokes  15 Videos

Academy Award-winning actress Tatum O'Neal was arrested this past weekend for allegedly buying crack cocaine.

According to a police spokesman, she used her one phone call to contact her agent, to whom she stated "See? I can too get arrested in this town."

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Marcus Howard
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Dear Star Savior: Tatum O'Neal's coke bust

By: Marcus Howard (C)
Submitted: Jun 3, 2008
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Drug Addict

249 Jokes  8 Videos

Dear Star Savior: Tatum O'Neal's coke bustDear Star Savior,

Hi. I’m Academy Award-winning actress Tatum O’Neal. I was arrested Sunday night after being seen buying crack cocaine near my home in Manhattan. I’ve struggled with addiction for a long time, and I think I really need your help now. What advice do you have for me?


Dear Tatum,

You don’t necessarily have to give up crack. All you have to do is start buying your crack farther away from your home. Consider yourself lucky to be a New Yorker: There are plenty of helpful, reputable vendors all over town. Start with the phone book or the local Zagat guide to crack-buying. And don’t feel like your celebrity status means you have to go to five-star pushers. When you’re buying crack, you really don’t need top-notch valet service.

There is a rich tradition of outsiders visiting ghetto areas to buy drugs, so your arrest could mean it’s time to make your first junkie pilgrimage and experience the spiritual side of crack addiction. On these pilgrimages, all of the area’s fiends awake at sunrise and face east for their morning shakes. Then, they shamble through the streets until they see the sign that they have reached their mecca: a pair of shoes dangling from a power line.

When you see the dangling shoes — a crack addict’s North Star — you’ll know that your dealer is near. And when you’ve had your first group stupor, elbow-to-elbow with your fellow junkies, you’ll understand the meaning of all the previous day’s fasting and prayer and twitching. You’ll truly know what it means to be a crackhead.

The Star Savior

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April Brucker
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You Light Up My Casting Couch

By: April Brucker (C)
Submitted: Jan 13, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Hooker

193 Jokes  5 Videos

Joseph Boone, Academy Award winning song writer of You Light Up My Life has turned director and has been accused of sexual assault by several wannabe actresses. Apparently he invited them over his house to audition, told them they would be playing a prostitute, gave them a few shots, and then had them perform sex acts on him. He defended himself by saying, "Hey, I just wanted to make sure they were right for the part."


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Mark Jabo
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All Washed Up

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Jan 16, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Oscar

62 Jokes

 




The makers of Dove Soap have announced a contest in which users are asked to create and submit ads for the new Dove Cream Oil Body Wash due to hit stores next month.

Winners will have their commercials shown during the Academy Awards.  Winners will also be expected to do the taxes and pay for groceries for the company's marketing employees.



Unilever takes top position in soap market when they realize bigger people use more soap



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Mark Jabo
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Where's My Cheese?

By: Mark Jabo (C)
Submitted: Dec 6, 2006
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Halle Berry

12 Jokes

 



New study shows cats can develop Alzheimer's. 

Scientists suspected a link when they moved a scratching post and found three years worth of New York Times and old bingo cards hidden behind it.

Lifetime network plans made-for-TV movie starring Julie Newmar.



 

 
Disease could affect over 87% of Broadway actors.










Oscar winner, Halle Berry said to have tested negative since she can't forget Catwoman no matter how hard she tries.










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