Joseph Boone, Academy Award winning song writer of You Light Up My Life has turned director and has been accused of sexual assault by several wannabe actresses. Apparently he invited them over his house to audition, told them they would be playing a prostitute, gave them a few shots, and then had them perform sex acts on him. He defended himself by saying, "Hey, I just wanted to make sure they were right for the part."

Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. Will he rip off the shiny, gold-colored aluminum wrapping and scarf the chocolate inside or put it on his mantle at home with his Oscar made of Gummi Bears and the Miss America tiara made from pipe cleaners and glitter?

Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Cage says he is broke.

I guess this means he won’t be reimbursing me for the $12.50 I wasted on “Knowing.” 

We want to congratulate our Dear Leader for winning the Nobel Peace Prize. We hear he is also being considered for the American League MVP, the Heisman Trophy, and an Oscar. 

We wish Dear Leader the best of luck in all his great accomplishments. 

India's ruling Congress party has bought the rights to "Jai Ho," the Oscar-winning song from "Slumdog Millionaire." Meanwhile North Korea just tried to buy ACDC's "Highway to Hell".

Karl Malden was registered as an organ donor. His eyes will give sight to a blind person.  His heart will be used for research.  And his nose will provide low-income housing to about a hundred senior citizens.

1st it was the announcement that longtime Tonight Show wingman Ed McMahon died, that sent us all out into the streets sobbing like a fallen tele-evangelist, then it was the death of Farrah Fawcett that sent us back out into the streets sobbing like Halle Berry at an Oscar presentation, and now... and probably hardest to believe.... We learn that my neighbor's pet skunk "Pepe" has died...  There's not a dry eye in my neighborhood.... and I wouldn't be surprised if the magnatude of this loss doesn't spread around the world as people learn of it.

What does an Oscar winning actress named Halle and a popular smartphone have in common...There both "Hot" Black Berry's..

"The Pianist" is an Oscar winning movie by director Roman Polanski and NOT the organ he used on a 13 year old girl in 1977..

I heard Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are working on a sequel to their 1997 Oscar winning screenplay.. The plot is similar to the original. This installment centers around the janitor at a thrift store with a genius I.Q. Proposed title... "Goodwill Hunting II"..