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 Touchstone Pictures has announced a new epic from Mel Gibson, Madder Max, an apocalyptic tale of flood and end of times. As the banks of rivers overflow and sweep across the landscape, a lone shrimp fisherman and sooped-up speedboat collects floating people and treasures. Max rescues men, women and children in a landscape of floating trees and submerged houses. After the premier, Mr. Gibson declined comment, saying the film speaks for itself and that he was too drunk to add to it.
New Orleans Mayor Roy Nagin is protesting that only white people were saved in the film. Standing atop unfixed levies around New Orleans, he shouted to news cameras, "Save the Levees, Save the World."
In a bizarre twist, the director of Waterworld, Kevin Kostner, whose film had been called a mistaken Mad Max on waterskis, is contemplating a plagiarism lawsuit. Kostner commented, "That damn Aussie thinks he can get away with anything."
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Mel Gibson is on board with Venod Sekhar to find an environmentally safe way to recycle old tires. Sekhar is one of Malaysia's wealthiest men, and Gibson is best known for his work insulting women, police and jews.
Sekhar was quoted as saying, "We don't have any jews in Malaysia, so it's no big deal."
Gibson was quoted as saying "Burning tires is bad for the environment. Burning jews however..."
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There is so much talk in the media about Bernie Mac and a joke that didn't go over well during one of Presidential hopeful Barack Obama's campaigns. I think making a big deal over it alone is funny. Just thinking of what happened to Mel Gibson and lately, Kanye West and others highlights careers have ups and downs. It's no big deal. If everything Bernie says went on the fly, then he'd be investigated for tax evasion or something. Like an old friend told me, that's life. This explains the inexplicable, I'm sure everyone can understand.
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 Former Russian President Boris Yeltsin died today at age 76.
Hollywood responds:
"He was a rude thoughtless commie pig anyway!"
-Alec Baldwin
"There won't be a national day of morning, will there? I mean, Smirnof production will go uninterrupted, right? RIGHT!?"
-Mel Gibson
"That's, like, really sad, but I hope they won't elect a new President with a mark on their forehead like he had. Eeew."
-Jessica Simpson
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 I'll tell ya, I'm starting to think that this Britney Spears is going to be just fine. Because the rehab center that she just checked into, again, has also treated Charlie Sheen, Robert Downey Jr. and Mel Gibson – and look how well they all turned out.
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July 2 - July 8
