Millions of Americans simultaneously stricken with hysterical blindness.

Following in the footsteps of Angelina Jolie and Madonna, today Kirstie Alley adopted "Little Debbie."

A white, frigid mass that keeps getting bigger and bigger--scientists have named the glacier Kirstie Alley.

A China university has built the world's largest earthquake simulator.  The second largest earthquake simulator is Kirstie Alley.

A new element dubbed Ununbium is to be added to the periodic table, that is approximately 277 times heavier than hydrogen, making it the heaviest element. Scientists estimate that Kirstie Alley is composed of 50% Ununbium.

Chocolate maker Nestle announced Monday that it will purchase weight loss product maker Jenny Craig Inc. for $600 million.

The large investment is an attempt to further Nestle’s health and wellness programs, as well as the latest chess move in a continuing effort by big business to ensure that Jenny Craig spokeswoman Kirstie Alley remains fat.

Kirstie Alley will be rewarded with yet another reality show, for 2010.  She's almost there; she weighed in today at 2007 and 3/4.

On the “Tyra” show this Wednesday, host Tyra Banks revealed that she recently lost 30 pounds.

Apparently, Kirstie Alley found it. 

 A diet heavy in processed and fatty foods increases the risk of depression.  This may explain why Kirstie Alley has the suicide hotline on speed dial.

Somali pirates must be licking their lips the same way Kirstie Alley would for the world's largest cupcake. 

The call for a ban was prompted by last week's visit by Kirstie Alley.