Kirstie Alley will be rewarded with yet another reality show, for 2010.  She's almost there; she weighed in today at 2007 and 3/4.

Chocolate maker Nestle announced Monday that it will purchase weight loss product maker Jenny Craig Inc. for $600 million.

The large investment is an attempt to further Nestle’s health and wellness programs, as well as the latest chess move in a continuing effort by big business to ensure that Jenny Craig spokeswoman Kirstie Alley remains fat.

Millions of Americans simultaneously stricken with hysterical blindness.

A recent study released by the United Health Foundation concludes that, on average, Americans are 0.3% healthier than they were a year ago.

Kirstie Alley, your nation thanks you.

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (November 12) - Forty beached pilot whales were refloated by volunteers in northern New Zealand on Friday — but another 38 of the whale pod died on the sandy beach, a Department of Conservation spokeswoman said.

Investigators theorized that Kirstie Alley was just having a few of her Jenny Craig friends over for her annual bikini barbecue and a few might have had a little to much to drink.

Kate Hudson and rocker husband Chris Robinson have separated. A source inside the Hudson camp blames Robinson's scraggly appearance, saying, "That beard traps more food than Kirstie Alley's mouth."

Millions of beached anchovies died in Spain. Upon hearing the news, Kirstie Alley asked, "how long before they go bad?"