A suspicious white powder has been discovered hidden in a shipment of dictionaries.

“Nosey” workers spotted the unprincipled packets — which were headed for Madrid, Spain — at a post office in the Dominican Republic. Officials from the National Drug Control Agency intercepted them and found “a white powder that appears to be cocaine,” sewn into the lining of the books. Wasting no time, the NDCA called in Special Agent Keith Richards, who quickly confirmed the substance to indeed be booger sugar.

This is the third time in two months that drugs have been found sewn into book covers or cards bound for Spain from the Caribbean nation, prompting President Barack Obama to include the Dominican Republic on his list of 20 major drug producers. 

Not surprisingly, Amy Winehouse continues to hold the top spot on his list of 20 major drug consumers.

The Rolling Stones will, also, be remastered. 66-year old Mick Jagger will get a 50-pound flesh implant, while 65-year old Keith Richards will start talking intelligibly for once, by kicking booze and drugs!