A white, frigid mass that keeps getting bigger and bigger--scientists have named the glacier Kirstie Alley.

"Clean air is gooder than dirty air." he agreed, "I'm hoping that the people in charge can get on that."

He also announced that he will seek the Democratic nomination for president in 2008.

According to The New York Times, China has so many coal plants generating tremendous amounts of harmful pollutants that the increase in global-warming gases from China alone will exceed that of all industrialized countries combined over the next 25 years. Researchers say the biggest problem is that 20 minutes after you breathe in the harmful Chinese pollutants, your body is hungry for another round of toxic chemicals.

When asked to comment, China smiled, bowed slightly and pretended not to understand a word that was said.