In the news today, scientists noted a rise in the temperature of the band of ocean water called El Nino of several degrees and expect this means 2007 will be hotter than 2006.  Skiers have responded to climate change by proposing erecting an man-made reef off the coast of Maine to be composed entirely of skis.  Sharks are also expected to gather there for the human sacrifice of one skier each day until snow returns to the slopes.

If global warming is good for bicycle riding.  Warm and sunny. And if riding a bike helps the global warming problem. If enough people ride a bike then the weather will become cold and rainy again and bad for bike riding.

Caught you George! You like to ride bikes, your old, in the Library with a Gun.

In which case I think it's only fair if the Democrats add the War on Drugs to their platform. Why should only their unsolvable bogus causes get the spotlight? 

North Carolina state Senator Charles W. Albertson pushed for a climate-change panel despite the fact he is "not completely convinced" that human activity is behind Global Warming.

Later he reluctantly expressed support for NASA even though he still can't comprehend how the space shuttles can orbit a flat planet.

He also announced that he will seek the Democratic nomination for president in 2008.

Everyone is talking about things like hybrid cars and solar panels as ways to save energy and stem the tide of gloabal warming, but these methods are expensive and inconvenient. That's why DailyComedy is offering ways to help the environment that, although almost completely ineffective, aren't overly burdensome.

So here they are, in no particular order: The five least effective ways to combat global warming:

5. Lose the electric toothbrush. The jury is still out on whether electric toothbrushes are better at removing plaque than the old-fashioned kind. So why not save precious electricity and get a light workout at the same time?

4. Try parking in the driveway now and then instead of driving all the way into the garage. When the weather is mild, you can use this technique to save (literally) pennies worth of gas.

3. The less a car weighs, the less power it requires and the more fuel-efficient it is. But even if you drive an SUV, you can still lighten the load by cleaning out all the unnecessary crap. Old maps? Throw them away. Have you ever even looked at that owner's manual? Get rid of it. Those extra ounces are robbing you of vital fuel economy.

2. Ask yourself this, "How important is proper spelling?" Your printer doesn't run on good vibes. It takes old-fashioned electricity to print out extra copies of your document. If a potential employer asks you about all the typos on your resume, just tell him you're doing your part to save Mother Earth.

1. For God's sake, turn off the backlight on your iPod.

Hideous future world of gloom will be quite comfortable

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Come visit Alaska in the dead of winter.

It's then that we're a winter wonderland.

Don't go out and catch a salmon with a fishing pole - do it the plain old Alaskan way, just like good old Mr. Kodiak Bear - catch that dog gonned fish with your teeth! Yep, get down on all fours in that cold, cold river water and snatch one the only real way!

And there's a gosh happy wildlife boots American Dream up here, too. Uncle Ike "Icicle's Log Cabin" still serves the best tuna and finch sandwich this side of Siberia.

Be it known to all - Alaska is still a remote, wonderful land of the Grizzly, the wolf, Mr. and Ms. Polar Bear (they're growing fins now due to global warming so soon they'll be sharks), the snow fox and some moose.

They're not extinct yet, already? the moose, I means....

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The National Resources Defense Council reports that 12 national parks are in danger of drought, wildfire and diminished wildlife due to global warming—in lieu of reducing greenhouse gases, the Government will simply rename the parks Death Valleys 1-12.

A recent shot of "Glacier" National Park: