...president-elect barack obama has announced that he will honor george bush's accomplishments by putting his face on the $10 food stamp. 

For the past several days, Barack Obama has been calling people thanking them for helping him get elected.   Today he meets with George Bush and will thank him in person.

This is indeed good news.  Even better news--in 60 days Bush himself will be eligible to receive those unemployment benefits.

Because soon George Bush & Isiah Thomas will each be running something.

President Bush has been very stingy with pardons during his time in office.  Some high profile individuals such as Michael Milken, Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham, and Louisiana Gov. Edwin W. Edwards have yet to receive pardons.   In fact,  your best chance for a pardon under Bush is if your name is Tom Turkey.  

Today Barack Obama will meet with George Bush.  An Obama aide said that Obama will listen to Bush's advice and then do the opposite.  

In the tradition of the CIA, code names have been designated for Barack Obama and family. They are: Barack (Renegade), Michelle (Renaissance), Malia (Radiance), and Sasha (Rosebud).

Catching wind of this and feeeling jealous, President Bush asked, "Can't I have a new code name, too?" The CIA complied and lame duck President Bush is now known as "Exit."

Laura Bush avoided certain areas while showing the White House to the new First Lady, Michelle Obama. The areas passed by were marked CBC and GRES on the doors. When queried, Mrs. Bush indicated that CBC is the Cheney Bunker Complex and that GRES is George's Remedial English Study. She indicated that both require Secret Service authorization for entry. Mrs. Obama's only reaction was, "Oh."

During the long election campaign, someone in the McCain camp referred to Sarah Palin as a diva. When President Bush heard this on the news, he turned to wife Laura and blared out, "Wow, this gal's really something...I mean, living in Alaska and into the scuba thing!" 

President-elect Obama is likely to reverse President Bush's orders to drill in Utah.  It's good news for residents there, since Mormons have an exclusive oil deal with Mitt Romney's hair stylist.