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Donald Rumsfeld
Hot Topic
Donald Rumsfeld Jokes

43 Jokes

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A Goody From Our Archive...   December 10, 2006

Laurie Kilmartin
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Rummy's Farewell

By: Laurie Kilmartin (C)
Submitted: Dec 10, 2006
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Donald Rumsfeld

43 Jokes

Donald Rumsfeld gave an emotional farewell to Pentagon employees on Friday. “I leave believing that the American people are wise and decent," he said, "and I confirm it by listening to their phone calls.”


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Hot Topic Donald Rumsfeld 43 Jokes
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Jim David
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RUMSFELD RUMS OUT

By: Jim David (C)
Submitted: Nov 8, 2006
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Donald Rumsfeld

43 Jokes

Donald Rumsfeld is stepping down as Secretary of Defense, screaming, "If I can't play with my bomb, I'm going to go home!!!"


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ric landers
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Rumsfeld

By: ric landers (M)
Submitted: Aug 31, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Donald Rumsfeld

43 Jokes

In an interview today, Donald Rumsfeld continued to deny he gave the order to torture prisoners at Abu Ghraib. When asked who gave it if it not him, Rumsfeld replied, “I would never give such an order unless it came directly from the Fuhrer.”

Later, when told General Sanchez, is now refusing to say if he gave the order to torture himself, Rumsfeld said, “Don't worry, we have ways of making him talk.”

Rumsfeld was then asked why the prison guards at Abu Ghraib were not aware of the Geneva Convention. Replied Rumsfeld, “Because none of them were invited.”

And finally, holding up one of the photos of naked prisoners at Abu Ghraib, Rumsfeld said his staff had determined the photo is a fake. When asked how, said Rumsfeld: “See the tattoo on this man’s ass? It looks like Arabic but spelled backward it actually reads, "What, Me Worry?”

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Jeff Caldwell
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Iraqi Prime Minister Says He's 'Not America's Man in Iraq'

By: Jeff Caldwell (C)
Submitted: Oct 31, 2006
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Iraq

411 Jokes  3 Videos

Rumsfeld, Cheney frantically search for receipt.


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Keith Alberstadt
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Rumsfeld

By: Keith Alberstadt (C)
Submitted: Nov 24, 2006
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Donald Rumsfeld

43 Jokes

Donald Rumsfeld announced that since he's no longer employed, he'll try to get some Christmas shopping done. Well, he plans on going into a mall, but he has no idea how or when he'll get out.


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Ken Newton
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Rumsfeld - Unemployed

By: Ken Newton (C)
Submitted: Nov 9, 2006
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Donald Rumsfeld

43 Jokes

So Mr. Rumsfeld has been let go.  Sounds like he has a lot of free time now.  Let's send him to Iraq to run around and dodge bullets, car bombs and friendly fire.  We'll make sure he has the best in military body armor.  I have some extra pots, pans and maybe some catcher's equipment.   


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Scot Marinick
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Rumsfeld caught with his pants down.

By: Scot Marinick (C)
Submitted: Oct 1, 2006
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Donald Rumsfeld

43 Jokes


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Chuck McCoy
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Rumsfeld: Life after George

By: Chuck McCoy (C)
Submitted: Nov 13, 2006
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Donald Rumsfeld

43 Jokes

Where can a nasty, crotchety, and somewhat sadistic former Secretary of Defense turn to for a career change?   Donald Rumsfeld has found the perfect new career.  Starting tomorrow, he will be employed as a greeter at Walmart

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Dan Naturman
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DailyComedyFake Quote of the Week

By: Dan Naturman (C)
Submitted: Nov 12, 2006
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Donald Rumsfeld

43 Jokes

November 13 - November 19

"The bottom line is, I didn't want to put off pursuing stand-up comedy any longer."

-Donald Rumsfeld, explaining his resignation as Secretary of Defense.


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Elon James
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Condition of former KGB spy worsens

By: Elon James (C)
Submitted: Nov 20, 2006
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Donald Rumsfeld

43 Jokes

LONDON — A former KGB agent turned Kremlin critic who was poisoned three weeks ago was moved into intensive care Monday after his condition deteriorated, and his doctor said the toxin has attacked his bone marrow.


Prominent Russian exiles claimed Litvinenko was poisoned at the behest of the Kremlin; For his constant critques.

 "Poisen!" Donald Rumsfeld exclaimed,"Why didn't I think poisen!" He then added it to the 326 page list of things he didn't think of.

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Laurie Kilmartin
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Germany To Prosecute Rumsfeld

By: Laurie Kilmartin (C)
Submitted: Nov 10, 2006
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Donald Rumsfeld

43 Jokes

Germany is charging Donald Rumsfeld as a war criminal for the abuses committed at Abu Ghraib.

Said one German official, “We knew Rumsfeld's interrogation tactics were despicable from the moment we admired them.”

 


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