The Chicago White Sox have invited Barack Obama to throw the first pitch on opening day. The New York Mets have invited him to join their bullpen.  

Tax increase for people who make more than 250k.

Tax break for people who make less than 250k.

Full audit for Joe The Plumber.

Barack Obama will have a full plate when he takes office.  Not only does he have to fix the economy, he must also deal with the country's two major areas of conflict:  Iraq and the View.  

I just can't shake the feeling the only way I can make it now is in sports or entertainment. 

Oprah will be give away free Cadillacs to everyone who attends Obama's inaguration party. (This will also help the economy)

A new poll finds that 64 percent of Republicans want to see Governor Sara Palin make a run for the White House in 2012, putting them on the same page as 100 percent of Democrats, joke-writers and metaphorical glass ceiling repairmen.

Barack Obama's Kenyan family has announced that when Obama wins, they will sacrifice bulls, chickens and goats to honor the victory.

And we thought Jimmy Carter had some embarrassing relatives.

Upon hearing that Barack Obama won the American election, hundreds of would-be undocumented workers approaching the U.S. border turned around and headed back to Mexico. Indeed, Obama’s plans to bankrupt the country are secretly his solution to unchecked immigration.

The bad news is that Obama won. The good news? John McCain lost.

Barack Obama has won the election, and African-Americans across the country are cheering, jumping, and crying tears of happiness. You'd think O.J. just got acquitted. 

President-elect Barack Obama and Sen. John McCain met Monday in Chicago to talk about ways to work together and some are saying that Obama might give him a positoin in his cabinet. Apparently we can rule out Secretary of Health.