BELLEVUE, OH -- A man in central Ohio is accused of having sex with his picnic table.

The investigation began when a tipster gave police three DVDs showing Arthur Price having sexual intercourse with a metal round table on his deck.

The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.

Police say the DVDs show Price involved in a sex act in his bedroom. He walks out to his deck, tilts the table on its side and has sex with it.

1) Is it really sexual intercourse if it's a table?  At least my hands are connected to a living, breathing, being!

2) Who could blame the guy???  He's obviously a legs man!

3) Only three times in three months....what?  Was he married to the table?

4) He tilts the table on it's side, that's what happens when you read the Karma Sutra for Dummies!

5) AND IS IT ANY SURPRISE.........he lives in Bellvue???

Via AP News 

Early Saturday MORNING, a 24 year old mother was stopped for speeding and found to be drunk.  She had her one year old in the car with her, so police called relatives to come pick the kid up.  Later that AFTERNOON comes the boy's father... problem was.... he was drunk.  So police called in the grandparents, and guess what folks... they were drunk too.. but luckily the grandma was still under the legal limit and deemed tipsy but safe, so the police escorted them home, and they lived happily ever after.  You can always count on grandma to be the responsible one.

Jose Canseco pleaded guilty to trying to bring a fertility drug across the border from Mexico. The real crime is the fact that they let him back into America.

They were actually trying to kill the best man.

Police cited equipment failure as the cause of death. 

10. Every guy you go out with pays for dinner, pulls out the chair and lets you order first. Its not cause he's a nice guy. Its cause you saw that prison tattoo and know in your heart he's been waiting for years for this date.

9. You like to date guys in prison because they stay loyal. Hey, convictmailbag.com

8. You dated a guy who escaped from prison at one point. Hey, handy and resourceful.

7. You know junkies make the best boyfriend. Hey becoming a $200 a day heroin user requires ambition and skill

6. You had a boyfriend come to your door asking for drug money. When he told you that you gained weight seconds later you waived the dollar bill in front of his face and watched him feind.

5. You know you should marry a junkie because he gives you money, shoots up, nods off, and then you can go off and do your own thing.

4. You had an ex start a group against you on myspace where his fat lackies kept tabs on you via blog.

3. Your ex-boyfriends have made up girlfriends in order to keep up with your record of junkies, degenerates, and dirty old men.

2. Your lawyer ex knows another one of your exes because he represented him at one point.

1. Everytime police sirens are heard in the neighborhood, everyone knows you just ended a relationship.

Former Montgomery County, Maryland Police Chief Charles A. Moose of "sniper fame" and Sarah Palin are divorcing their respective spouses and will be married to each other on Christmas Day. Said Palin, "I will soon be soccer mom Sarah Moose, I'll be shootin' moose, and eatin' moose...both ways!  And, Charlie's got a nice rifle!"

In Bucks County, PA, a naked man has been grabbing joggers and holding them in a bear hug before fleeing. Here in San Francisco, these incidents go unreported to police and occur on days ending in "y".

The white supremicists are getting rialed up over the win of president elect Barack Obama. There have been 200 hate crimes since then which have ranged from racist graffiti to the cross burning on the lawn of a bi-racial couple. Well white power might be very much alived but a warning to the boys in bed sheets, Obamas people come in gangs.

Lewis Hamilton, a black Englishman, won the Formula 1 title over the weekend in Brazil.

The feat was even more amazing considering the police kept pulling him over every couple of minutes.