Shaquille O'Neal called Kobe Bryant the best player in the NBA. This was surprising, until we remembered the other meaning of the word "player."

Because soon George Bush & Isiah Thomas will each be running something.

Magic Johnson reportedly cried all night long after Barack Obama beat John McCain to become the country's first African-American president. Granted, he also had the same reaction after watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

The Knicks are reportedly pursuing Golden State forward Al Harrington. New York likes the fact that he has a bloated contract and a history of underachievement, but they're still not sure if they can count on him to be a major distraction off the court.

Stephon Marbury has said that his suspicion of Mike D'Antoni is so deep he wouldn't trust him to walk his dog across the street. That’s all the more harsh when you consider that Marbury defended Michael Vick.

A spokesman for President-elect Barack Obama said it's too early to comment whether there will be a new executive chef. But outside speculation has focused on Art Smith, Oprah Winfrey's personal chef; and NBA star Carmelo Anthony's personal chef, Daniel Young.  I guess we can rule out my personal chef: Chef Boyardee.

Josh Nochimson has been decertified as an agent after stealing half a million dollars from Pistons guard Rip Hamilton. You know you've hit rock bottom when even sports agents think you're a scumbag.

Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni has said rookie forward Danilo Gallinari will only play when New York is blowing out other teams. In other words, in the 1990s.

Antawn Jamison has said that his winless Wizards are lacking pride. And a starting lineup. But mainly pride.

During President-elect Barack Obama's first news conference, he mentioned talking to all past living Presidents for advice, but committed a small faux pas by saying he did not talk to Nancy Reagan for a seance (supposedly to confer with dead hubby, Ronnie).

After the session, he called Mrs. Reagan to apologize. He later told Joe Biden, his VP-Elect, "Joe, you know, I'm certain the old broad was on the sauce. She wasn't offended by my remark! Instead, she said that she had brought Ronnie back to watch the news conference and that all he could talk about was his being happy, but amazed, that one of those huge Negro basketball jocks had gotten to the White House. She also said, he hoped I was an ex Laker!"