Junk mail has really gotten out of hand in the holiday season. Not only do I throw away enough catalogs that probably were made using enough natural resources that would make Al Gore cry, but now families send me their yearly wrap up review in a letter! This is SUCH is woman thing. Oh I’m sexist? Then why do all of the guy spouses call and apologize for sending it?

            Fine you want a yearly review – here’s mine.

Dear everyone who is really bored and slightly nosey,

            Another awesome year for Lenny Marcus kids. Lets see. ’06 started with a surprise right away - In January Lenny got his first hemorrhoid! Wow, that was a surprise! He thought he was dying. I mean it’s not every day you think a little man is growing out of your ass, no matter how many horror films you watch. Then in February Lenny had a date. I know crazy! Then in March, Lenny performed at the Aspen comedy festival. Memories include: Having great sets and nobody caring, a twenty seven hour trip back to New York, and a lot of snow. One of the heads of the festival did send me a fleece jacket though – SWEET! Could have used it when I was sleeping on the floor in the airport due to a blizzard the day I left after missing the last connecting flight out of Denver. Thanks United Airlines! In April Lenny went to Opening Day at Yankees stadium. He also decided not to observe Passover for the first time ever as the Matzoh bread will prevent proper bowel movements until June. The summer was awesome. Lenny had a great start to the softball season and the Gotham Monday team excelled to a 8-2 start. Then Lenny hurt his groin and cried after every game for a month. Lenny began writing and shooting films for Daily Comedy.com that nobody ever reads or watches. Lenny’s bitcom, Superstar Talent has been seen by over 3 people, and is a big hit with his sister! Fall, as always, is Lenny’s busy season – it began with the Yankees choking and ends with the Giants sucking. Highlights for the year include: He performed on 300+ shows and nobody knows who he is, another Letterman audition (getting closer stop asking), and he only paid $9 on his federal tax return.

            Lenny wishes you all joy and happiness (except Mel Gibson).

Happy Holidays everyone.

It was announced today that Al Gore's film, An Inconvenient Truth, will be shown in all secondary schools in Scotland.

Officials say they hope to educate Scottish students that American politicians can be just as pompous and long-winded as their British counterparts.

I understand America's excitment over Sarah Palin.  It's simple. This is the first Vice President that people would want to fuck.  Sure, Al Gore could stay stiff for days but his personality turned people off.

And Al Gore created the internet.  Ok.....

Shown in picture is McCain getting his balance and dancing to the beat of "If I only had a dime." While speaking on the very berry Blackberry he invented. He said his inspiration to create the Blackberry came to him when he was held prisoner for 10 years by the Viet Cong. He wanted a device so badly to communicate with the outside world. Hence the Blackberry! Good Job Mr. President!!!