The White House had no comment.

Researchers in Spain discovered that men who drank 3 or more shots of liquor per day had 50% less heart disease as well as 28% more sex with a transvestite named "Penelope Cruzin'."

Michael Jackson's sister La Toya has created a milkshake in honor of her late brother for a local shop in L.A. The shake starts out chocolate, gets nutty then turns vanilla. 

www.jerrywolski.com

Oprah has announced today that her show will be ending in September of 2011…or 15 months earlier than the Mayans predicted.

A two year old Tennessee boy helped his mother deliver her fourth baby on their living room couch.  When a reporter asked him if he'd been scared or nervous, the toddler replied, "Ha!  No way; the last two were C-sections!"

...there is a new social website for senior citizens.  www.seniorpeoplemeet.com , where you can join today, meet tomorrow, and forget who they are the next day.   

   America's young people seem barely able to make change; understand almost nothing about government; hardly read and, certainly, can't write.

   Yet, they talk, text and tweet incessantly.

   About what?  

   A local guy is in the process of forming a group to promote breast feeding--for adult men.

   His tentative slogan:  "Human breast milk, a super-nutritious food--and udderly delicious!"

   A defensible viewpoint, to be sure.  Though it does seem an awful lot like taking candy from a baby. 

In related news, Joan Rivers cancels big Democratic fund raiser.  

I saw an article today under the headline 10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Lying. But I was groggy when I first read it and thought the last word was Dying.

Wouldn't that have been a fun article If I read that correctly:

SIGN 1: He cancels plans with you because he's been coughing up blood for 2 days straight.

SIGN 2: He spends less time with you than with a Hospice... 

Pitcher Tim Lincecum of the San Francisco Giants,has won the Cy Young Award for the second straight year.He led the National League in strikeouts and marijuana possession.